Affectioning Gaze | Awareness

Scratching an itch relieves the sensation. Exercising a tick relieves nothing. Self awareness channeled to understanding the outcome shows the futility of ticking. The external aside muscles exhaust, irritation spreads: contagious. Doubt becomes. 

Feeling unsatisfied with the anonymity of Lao Tzu’s leadership prescription he doused his confidence in envy. She watched him miserable, strengthening his belief that he could stop the cycle. He stood on that belief, her gaze his pillar unassuming protector, provider stance. Her love uncontained. Took him years to accept in simplicity, humility unhumiliated.

Today, when they walk, he folds his hand onto hers. Sits assuming reflection of what the moment requires. When unrequired, he holds back projection of will. Words still wielded when necessary. Recognition allows peace. When need still postures. Gives in to ticking when unaware or unconcerned with the external. Poor reflection.

What do they get from his ticks? His words? His posture? In all forms. Coherent picture unavailable to himself. Complete package observed over years by others, apprehended. Appreciated: despite himself. Coded every moment, binding to belief. Adhering to principles guiding action or inaction. Strategic planning. To adhere to formed perception he molds. While holding to adherence to the unknown and divine.

APPLICATION
Coherence is constructed many times. A person adheres to a code: principles guiding action or inaction, invisible to others because visibility can convert character into performance. Observers encode the same behavior into a narrative of who that person is, assembled over years from accumulated moments. These processes, adherence and encoding, operate on identical material from opposite directions, neither aware of the other. But a code does not sustain itself through will alone. The piece locates what makes adherence possible in love that is uncontained, unannounced, and patient across years. That relational ground allows someone to stop projecting and start simply being present. The “complete package” others apprehend is a reference class built from data generated according to principles the observers cannot see and the person cannot narrate. Self-awareness reveals the futility of projection (though the act of coding belies complete belief in this). The coherent picture belongs to none of them alone.